Goal setting, man, it’s like my personal Everest. I’m sitting here in my cramped Seattle apartment, rain smacking the window like it’s personally offended by my existence, and I’m staring at a notebook that’s basically a graveyard of dreams I didn’t follow through on. Like, last month I swore I’d “get organized” (spoiler: my sock drawer’s still a war zone). You ever write down some big, shiny goal—like “lose 10 pounds” or “read a book a week”—and then find yourself eating Doritos and scrolling X at 2 a.m. instead? That’s me, waving from the struggle bus. But I’ve been picking apart why goal setting keeps tripping me up, and I think I’ve got some real talk on how to not totally flop at it.
I’m no expert, okay? My desk looks like a tornado hit a stationery store—sticky notes stuck to my coffee mug, a to-do list I lost under a pizza box. But through all my, uh, learning experiences, I’ve figured out why most of us suck at goal setting and how to maybe not suck so much. Let’s dive in, ‘cause I’m spilling my guts here, flaws and all.
Why We Keep Botching Goal Setting
Chasing Goals That Ain’t Even Ours
So, real talk: I’ve set goals that weren’t even mine. Like, last year I decided I’d “journal every day” because some blog I read said it’d make me a better person or whatever. Big surprise: I hated it. I’d sit there, pen in hand, staring at a blank page, feeling like a fraud. By week two, I was back to doomscrolling X instead. Why? ‘Cause journaling wasn’t me. It was some productivity bro’s idea of success, not mine.
Now, I ask myself, “Do I actually want this, or am I just trying to flex for the ‘gram?” When I set out to write this blog, I made sure it was something I cared about—like, I legit wanna share my screw-ups so you don’t repeat ‘em. Find a goal that feels like you, not some influencer’s highlight reel.
Being Vague AF
Another time, I wrote “be healthier” as a goal. Cool, what does that even mean? Eat kale? Run a marathon? Stop stress-eating gummy bears? My brain was like, “Nah, too much work,” and bailed. I read somewhere that vague goals are basically doomed ‘cause your brain needs something concrete to grab onto.
These days, I get specific. Instead of “be healthier,” I go for “walk 30 minutes three times a week” or “swap soda for water at lunch.” It ain’t glamorous, but it works. Like, yesterday I walked around Green Lake, dodging joggers and ducks, and hit my step goal while jamming to a podcast. Felt like a small win, even if I almost tripped over a goose.
Expecting to Be Perfect (LOL)
Here’s where I get real cringe. In 2024, I decided I’d “learn to cook.” Day one, I’m chopping veggies like I’m on Chopped. Day two, I burn my stir-fry and set off the smoke alarm. By day four, I’m ordering Uber Eats and feeling like a failure. We think if we can’t do a goal perfectly, it’s game over. Forbes had a dope article about how perfectionism screws us over, and I’m living proof.
Now, I’m all about good enough. I started cooking again last week—just simple stuff like scrambled eggs. They were kinda lumpy, but I ate ‘em anyway. Progress, not perfection, you know?
How to Actually Crush Goal Setting (Or at Least Not Hate It)
Start So Small It’s Almost Embarrassing
I used to think goals had to be huge, like “start a side hustle” or “meditate for an hour a day.” But big goals are scary, and I’d just… not do them. Now, I break stuff down to stupidly small steps. Wanna start a blog? Write one sentence. Wanna save cash? Stash $2 a week. I got this from Atomic Habits by James Clear, and it’s legit. I started this post by writing one line while sipping coffee at a café in Fremont. Now I’ve got, like, a whole blog. Wild.
Try this:
- Pick a goal that’s you (no one else’s vibe).
- Make the first step so tiny it’s laughable (like, “open my notebook” instead of “write a novel”).
- Stick with it for a week and see what’s up.
Track It, But Don’t Be a Weirdo About It
I’m the guy who buys a fancy planner and then uses it as a coaster. Tracking goals can feel like a drag, but it doesn’t have to. I started using Habitica, this app that makes goal tracking feel like a game. I checked off “drink more water” yesterday while chilling at a coffee shop, watching Seattle’s finest hipsters argue over oat milk. Made me laugh.
Find a tracking method that doesn’t make you wanna yeet your phone:
- Sticky note on your mirror.
- An app with fun vibes.
- Or just tell a friend to bug you (my buddy Sam’s annoyingly good at this).
Lean Into the Chaos
Here’s the tea: goal setting’s messy. You’ll skip days, mess up, maybe even cry into your coffee (yep, been there). And that’s okay. I used to hate myself when I’d miss a workout, but now I’m like, “Eh, tomorrow’s fine.” I got this mindset from Mindset by Carol Dweck, which talks about growing through the mess. Like, I’m a hot mess, but I’m learning.
Case in point: I missed my deadline for this blog ‘cause I got distracted by a TikTok spiral about sourdough starters. Instead of quitting, I wrote a bit the next day. Baby steps, fam.
Wrapping Up My Goal Setting Rant
Look, goal setting’s tough. I’m sitting here with a cold coffee, my cat staring at me like I’m a failure, and a to-do list that’s more like a suggestion. But I’ve learned it’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up, even when you’re a mess. Start small, make it yours, and laugh when you screw up. You got this, I swear.
